Plain

Hai dear. Selamat hari raya to all. Hahah raya tahun ni, gila sibuk sbb dah besar, dah kene fully functioning to serve the guests. Its fun at first. But in the end its extremely tiring. Hahah, but happy to said that, i enjoy every moment of raya.

Dalam kesibukan, i sedih. Hmmm well, i am just a plain girl. I dont know how to colour others life. Sometime me myself dont know what is my purpose of living, my life is dull and boring. But its simpler that way. I dont like to choose to be complicated. I would loves to be in the safe zone.

But to play safe, is selfish. I might hold someone and waste their time while i'm figuring out my feeling. I was confuse and i dont feel anything. It was numb. Being push to be not plain me is hard for me. I may became rebellious but my heart choose to drift away silently. While no one noticing, its already too far to be reached. I am tired to fulfil one's wish. I need someone to spoil me, be there when i need to rant on silly things, put smiles on me whenever i feel not worth living, make me forget all the complicated mind of mine.

You notice what is my need, but yet you ignore it jz because you want to build the best version of me. I am burn out and exhausted to be what you want. I cant push myself further, i am flowing with tears every night having to know that you are not happy.

Is it us was not enough for you? Being plain and boring is sickening for you? Why do i have to be your trophy? For you to show to your friends as a token of your success.

I know its too much what i'm asking. I dont think we have it anymore. I may be plain to you. But may be there is someone would need me to be plain to complete their life. Like a plain rice, ko mne boley makan lauk je tanpa nasi. Rasa x complete, rse x knyang. I might be something yg blehh nasik putih je, seems simple yet important. Haahhaha self praising. But in the end, i am still unsure of my feeling. Hmmm